It is a shame?

I have been up since 3am, Sinus's blocked, bit of a cold, headache, etc etc, Hoorah as working in the charity shop at 9, usually i just work when I can, just dropping in randomly, Today however i am booked in as they have no staff!!! I wouldn't mind so much but the manager goes on holiday tomorrow and I don't wanna give her my cold!!!
 I have a new phone too, an IPhone? ain't got a clue what its about, its Mr H's old one, the point of the story is that on my old phone I had lots of picture's ooh all my 'Burn it burn it' people, my lovely cloud cat that a few months ago had to be put to sleep, and many many more pictures, and Mr H couldn't save or transfer them? plus I had lots and lots of notes of things to write on my blog which again he couldn't/didn't save hence why I have not been on here......sad times :-(  But Winter is approaching and those dreadful 'Burn it Burn it' Pikey 'things' will be back on the streets of Swindon in force keeping the common 'poorly' folk snugly warm, you know with my new 'easy to photo people in a discrete fashion' phone, I warn you now i am going to be a nightmare to you all sending pictures (might even put some on here?)
 I reckon we (I) should do a canvasing project in town, Buying cheap 'plain' fleece jackets and then selling them to 'poorly' Burn it Burn it' wearers, confiscating the 'Burn it Burn it' off them, though I fear the attraction is the Animals printed on the jacket I ain't sure a 'plain' coat will entice them? maybe I could get lots of animal badges?, 'Buy a plain jacket, get a handful of animal badges FREE'.....That idea might need some tweaking, but I reckon I am onto a winner..... gosh over the winter in Swindon I can make a fortune, Spring 2012 I could be living the good life in the Cayman islands if I get my figures right? Auntie please look out for lovely properties for sale, 6 bedrooms, a pool, oh and a boat, ooh and I will need staff!!!! (email me)

   Sp'oon Chal x

Bear Grylls

Bear Grylls, I watch him on television and I am inspired........ revolted when he eats stuff but generally impressed so the other day I thought I would take a leaf from his book!!!!!.........

 I went to the cinema with Mr H and some friends, 'Fright Night' which Mr H reassured me was 'Humour', I have no time for horror, so thought it might be OK, only to find when we got there that it was 3D? I bloody hate 3D, it just gives me a really weird fuzzy head? so anyway I stomped in like a miserable child, and then when the film started I stomped out!!!!! ten Min's it took me to decide the film a) wasn't 'comedy b) was vampire based  which I hate and have a phobia over!!!! and c) was American shite (except one good feature was Colin Farrel was in it though this was a tad over ridden by the fact he was the fudging vampire!!!!
 So I just got up, and left, I was at the opposite end to Mr H so I just turned to my friend and said 'im out of here, its so not my thing'
 On exiting the cinema on a whim I then realized a number of things...... 1) I had no cash on me 2)I had no phone 3) i was starving hungry 4) I left my day rider bus ticket at home, now don't get me wrong the cinema ain't a hundred miles from where I live, so I just thought of Bear Grylls and thought its fine I can get home no probs....... finding a cash machine out of cash didn't help?, finding a cash machine in a pub where I couldn't work out where to insert my card and being to embarrassed to ask didn't help, being very very hungry didn't help oh and not having my Cinema ticket to get back in to ask Mr H for help as he held onto the tickets (responsible adult attitude he adopts when out with me!!!!) didn't help........ A 30 min walk later and I was half way home and at a friend house ....... she text Mr H to inform him I was safe and well, and I got a lift home too....... So unfortunately I ain't no Bear Grylls, so don't drop me in a swamp, forest or desert as i will stay where you drop me, cry a while and probably be dead before the morning!!!!!!

    Cheers Chal

holiday Tales

Hello and wow what a week it's been, before i start my tales though can i ask why do people drop litter?  i cannot fathom peoples mentality just to drop it without a thought, it needs bringing into the curriculum  at Schools.


 Ooh actually dropping litter is on a par with people having a tattoo especially on on there neck, which is very popular now, and just wrong wrong wrong.


So the Holiday, well if you have read Emma Kennedy's 'The tent, the bucket and me' we started on a Parr with that? on arriving at said destination at 5.30pm and unpacking said tent (Borrowed from the scout hut!! we find that the wrong poles are with the wrong tent!!! HURRAH, so a slight panic and  a half hour trip to Sheffield 'Go outdoors' and £250 later and we return with an hour to erect the tent!! poor Willow was in the car for about 8 hours, poor lady
 And as the sun went down, and the tent went up we thought hurrah, we hadn't eaten and  i was getting a tad grumpy, when we suddenly  realized we had the wrong pump for the double Air bed, so yes you have guessed i started to blow it up......Unfortunately being  'Susie Homemaker' i don't have much  'blowing Air into airbeds' Enthusiasm, and so very soon after my 5th blow. Tony took over!!
unfortunately it took a couple of nights for him to blow it up, so the first night was a tad uncomfortable, and i don't cope very well knowing a toilet isn't as handy as it is at home, and the more i worry the more i need to go, so i went every half hour!!! all those bloody zips, finding a torch, shoes, etc Gee just get me in a hotel!!! No bloody chance as now we have a lovely large tent that we must get maximum use from.....YIPPEE


I have lots more stories, but that is enough for now, i have to do Susie Duties, and Husband duties, so log in again soon when i continue...............


 Sp'oon Chal  

Hello 'Proper Korean' reader

Well i would like to welcome the Korean reader to my blog, 'Proper' Korean too, how wonderful to have you reading my work, not sure if you have read my earlier blogs, And my saga over thinking i had the whole Korean Ping Pong team following me? it was in fact not the case, though from time to time 'PingPong korea' is in touch, with very bad English, and i go along with it, (its really my Sister, she is 'poorly' of mind, and troubled, and we all just have to humour her day to day, knowing that her grip on reality is thin)

So welcome...are you a publisher? i am looking to write a book, a sort of 'Memoiur' cutting out all the Bad bits of my childhood, a pamphlet then i guess, though i suppose if i made all the 'Dark' bits funny i could make it to a book?

 Do you play Ping Pong? drop me a comment.....you see i have people having a read from all sorts of places, and you are all so quiet, hey ho at least you are reading my rantings.

 Sp'ooon Chal

Shopping

Hello....i went shopping, and once at the bus stop decided to wait for the 'pleasant wagon' as when the 'peasant wagon' turned up i just hadn't the energy to cope with it.......

 Now i did go into town for two things, but you see before i did those 'two things' i had to trawl the charity shops, looking for books (i have over 90 at home yet to read?) and Pottery, i am into collecting Coffee pots from the 60s and 70s by the makers j+g Meakin and midwinter, there are wonderful designs, i collect coffee pots, the milk/cream jug and sugar bowl, would love also tureens as i have a thing for them, but i haven't got the space, though gord knows why i am collecting coffee pots as i don't drink coffee?

 Anyway, in one charity shop they had a whole Meakin coffee set for £7 i near enough gasped, and ideally didn't want the four cups and 6 saucers, but What a bargain....slightly messed up my plans as ideally i was meant to get another bus to a DIY store, instead i got a bus home, and came back out again.

 Tony ain't to pleased with my coffee set? tis my 6th set, ideally i now need a display cabinet as i am running out of room, i did try to just collect egg cups (though don't eat eggs) as smaller, but not every set has egg cups, a cousin of mine collects the same makers but in plates, which her wall is covered in? now plates are popular in most designs, but i didn't want plates esp on the wall, though again easier to store and collect....

Mr H is giving me his iPhone in August, i am going to see if i can set it up so that i can take photo's and put them on my blog? i probably can at the moment with the phone i have, but i really can't be bothered to learn and then swap phones? i always get Mr H's old phone, lovely idea of how to upgrade, though it takes me two years to get used to it and then it changes.......

 So watch this space for Pic's coming soon, a lot of pottery, 'Burn it Burn it' coats, Bus's.....

 Sp'oon Chal

Ooh new reader?

Ooh Hello to the reader in the Ukraine!!!! welcome aboard, hope you enjoy what i write? and if you are a publisher let me know as i want to write a book? at one time i thought that the whole of the Korean Ping Pong team were reading my blog, and had high hopes there might of been a publisher amongst one of them, but there wasn't, in fact there wasn't even a Ping Pong team? i was very traumatised for a while, which  reminds me i must send my sister my 'Therapy' bills (not my regular life long ones because that amounts to millions....my Parents will get those? just my blog ones!!!

 Anyway hello to the Ukraine, hope your looking forward to my trip to town stories later?

 Sp'oon Chal

going out?

OK all, I'm going out!!!! i am going by bus, several place's to get wood wax and to wander round the town with the poor people, adding a little 'wealth and class' to Swindon town centre, the Mayor WILL be pleased!!!

I am going on the peasant wagon as i am in that kind of a mood? AND i am taking my book?, gosh i am such a wind up'

 I won't be going in Marks and Spencer's as i am wearing trainers, and i still haven't purchased one of their bags for life yet, nor a store card?, sod it I'm changing into my shoes and  Chino's and will do it today!!!!

 Watch out for my stories of my day out...coming soooon

 Sp'oon Chal

looking for a reation!!!!

Ooh you got to laugh?, My blog about people moaning about my Blog was true, but ideally to them and anyone that hasn't the time to read them is 'bothered?' i was hoping that by writing i was only going to write Quarterly, and 500 words would cause a huge out cry? not a sniff of a comment on the wind? SO IS THAT WHAT YOU LOT REALLY WANT?......CHEERs!!!!

 I haven't that much to say today really, nothing outrageous has happened, i haven't been on a bus for ages, nor round the town my life is dull and pointless (violin music playing).

 I am going camping soon with Mr H and willow the dog..... can hardly control my excitement, i feel i am a tad too old for camping esp England, and with a bad back? and they have a 'Quite zone' of 10pm-8am, goodness me i hope its not too quiet as all three of us have terrible wind (sorry Mr H for including you?, but you wake me with yours!!!) And i am slightly worried about trying to turn over at night with my back cos i moan? i don't do keeping still, ......i can see me in a hotel on the second night!!!! actually sod that, it will be half way through the first!!!!!

 Sp'oon Chal

Front Gardens

You may notice there is a heading for this subject, but no write up? there was, but twas too colourful so all on my own. by my self i thought i could change the colouring?... and deleted it by mistake ...should of waited for Mr H!!!!! will be re written in December.

 Gosh its a pain having to count the words? Should of put 50, a lot quicker!!!!!

  Sp'oon (Dec) Chal

The general feeling is............

I have spoke to a few people who get my blog via e-mail, and they have generally said i send to many and i write to much, and they ain't got time to read it?........ i will now be only writing Quarterly and max 500 words........

 Sp' Dec Chal

Front Gardens

chinese lanterns

Hi all,
 This is just a plea, Chinese Lanterns that are lit and launched into the night sky i believe should be banned!!!!
 They are Environmentally terrible cause havoc with livestock and waterways, they get caught in tree's and are a real fire risk to woodland, crops, Houses.

 At first i myself thought they were wonderful, and last new Year went to a friends to celebrate the new year and we launched some, yes they do look wonderful in the night sky, but having giving it more thought, they are terrible...... think if you had a thatched cottage and one came down?

 So please for the Environment, safety, and Natures Sake, lets STOP them now!!!

  Sp'oon Chal

POISONED!!!!!!!

Hi me lovelies,
 Would you Adam and Eve it? Myself and Mr H had a lovely evening meal sat outside last evening, Until we tasted the Mushrooms? Ooh they really tasted of washing up liquid? Mr H then spat his drink out in a sudden realization that two days earlier he had used the Wok, and then before washing it out had squirted  some washing up liquid into it then forgotten about it?.....came to it yesterday forgetting and happily fried the mushrooms in said Oil and Lully washing up liquid?.....Top Chef that Mr H!!!!!

Oh And well you couldn't of planned this, on Saturday we went to an Arts Festival in Swindon, we met some friends, and some of their friends, and Children, and with deck chairs and hampers etc marched of to find said Lully spot , now generally i am one to try to make a good impression straight away, The Drug Dog that made a b-line for me sort of put a halt on that!!!!
Now me being Naive thought ' what a lovely friendly dog'  ...... well a full park of people, and 5 adults, 3 children all watched as i was searched, Actually i found it very interesting never having had it done before, though pulling out my snotty tissue wasn't overly great, The officers were great and my coat i brought has hundreds of zips which slightly delayed proceedings (as day became night, and we missed half the music, my back went into spasm, the kids started to whinge, you get the gist?) AND i found that i have a huge zip that isn't a pocket, but in fact a meshed vent? well  done Mr Drug squad man!!!!
And the funny thing is the more you try to proclaim your innocence, the more dodge you actually look!!!

 You will all be happy to know all was fine, no stretch in strangeways hurrah, i think it was either the dog Biscuits i have on my dog walks (not just randomly as snacks?) or the fact i had worn the same Pants for 3 days, that the dog took an interest? though later on i walked past the officers again, they had a different dog ,and with the reassurance from the officers not  to re- search me set the dog on me? and it just wasn't interested in me in the slightest,

 To be honest i quite liked being patted down and a man in uniform going through my pockets, it seemed such a waste of being in a wooded area, as so many people about and he wasn't cute of built like a brick out house?...hey ho.....

Ooh the festival was quite good, BUT the fireworks were AMAZING, and i don't as a rule do fireworks!!!!

So there we go, its my day off today, i worked the whole weekend, my back was as good as gold, even with a dodge start on Fri......then last night it went again, so today when i have to get into 'Susie homemaker' mode and the garden to do, Decorating, etc etc, i am actually in Agony!!!! and whilst writing this have actually walked round the room 6 times!!!!!..... i must go now and start my Chores.....i may be back later?



Sp'oon  Chal

Medical Matters.....

Hello All,
 Blogs ago i mentioned the programme 'Embarrassing Illnesses, and How you can go live on TV with your Web cam, and all your Yukky poorly bits, flashing them to the world.....Well i watched it the other day, and to be honest it was well informative....slightly yukky in places and i had to turn the channel over or go 'La La La' with my fingers in my ears, I have come to the conclusion that the whiff of a med procedure and I'm off to Switzerland!!!!!
 And you know i keep seeing people with tubes up there nose, now I'm sorry i know its not nice for them except for maybe keeping them alive, but stay home!!! i was in the Doctors today (for work, don't worry i am fine!!) and the woman in front of me at the desk was all tubed up, with a power/air/liquid/food/Booze pack on her back, you know the more i tried to focus away from her the more a stared at her tubes? And just thinking things like 'how far in do they go? what happens when she sneezes?, does she have to take them out to clean them? how does she pick her nose?.....well i tell you by the time i got to the blooming desk i was feeling very faint and was pale, i was very close to needing to see a Doctor!!!!

 Also My next door neighbour had her cataracts  done the other week, she is in her 70's and don't ask me why but i asked 'Ooh what do they do?' Bloody stupid thing to ask, within seconds i was leaning on the fence pleading with her to shut up, but not one to be side tracked she ploughed on in great detail, i even mentioned how wonderful her Begonia's looked to try to distract her ? and i hate begonia's!!!!

 She was funny though because she matter of fact said it was OK??????? and either that or go blind?...... now i am sorry but i would be completely with white stick, guide dog etc.......

 Well now i feel quite ill, i am going to go, no guilt trip but does anyone anywhere actually read this shite i ramble on about? and is anyone actually bloody interested?......i actually would love to write a book, but by now i thought i might of caught the eye of an Author? i have the option to place my ramblings on Twitter, but having forgotten my password etc its a lost cause!!!!!

  Hey, will be in touch soon, and if you are one of the people who venture out with tubes up your nose? Stop it, stay in!!!!  There were two in Tesco the other week TWO, both in mobility Chariots, i nearly pointed out that tesco deliver didn't they know? followed me round the store they did (obviously intentionally) Quite put me off the plot of shopping, i came home with all sorts of shite, oblivious to picking up any of it!!!!

  Sp'oon Chal

Fancy That......

Hello again, i have to just let you know i think i have a secret admirer? i know its hard to believe, and all VERY exciting though i am married?
 It's really lovely and unpredictable.......
 Actually tis all wrong......i meet an old lady at the bus stop, She gives the image of old fashioned, she wears a headscarf, she is probably in her 80's, and i can picture her with a cake stand and a nice piece of batternburg, and Cup of tea in tea cup and saucer......chatting to her DAUGHTER about what a 'nice young man' i am!!! Her daughter is really nice, they have a shopping trolley which slightly makes my twitch accentuate!!! but we have a chat, and i do tend to go into little old lady mode
 I personally think mum has her sights on me as a suitable husband, The daughter is a tad old before her time but that can be ironed out, she looks like she has never been clubbing, or even tasted Alcohol, nor been on holiday abroad? i want to use her, drag her away from her bubble of a life , dress her in some modern clothes, take her to places she has never been (the cinema, paint balling, TK Maxx)  feed her on ready meals and get her pissed!!!! ...........and when i have lulled her into a false sense of security, tell her a chomp from a different meadow, i take the pollen from a different flower, i make bread from a different recipe....you get my drift!!!! .......
Actually whilst talking at the bus stop, i might just casually mention Mr H? though i will have to be gentle, they look like they only watch Midsummer murders, and count down, and Miss Marple, Mum is elderly it could be too much of a shock to her?

 Moving on, a good friend of mine's Mother who spoke very little English, used to call me the 'lovely blond boy' and used to hint at me and her getting it together?, she used to tell her i was gay, the mother would have non of it, and swat the suggestion away, saying, 'NO, he is to nice to be like that!!!!

 I worked with a lady once from foreign parts who saw my wedding band, and asked if i was married, i replied 'yes to a man' She gasped..and said 'NO'? 'BUT WHY'?....'YOU LIKE'?... slightly took me by surprise, and them she stared at me for ages and we didn't speak for a while? luckily it all turned out fine in the end, .....it was never mentioned again during our shift together, when she said 'YOU LIKE', i really wanted to say 'Hell no, but what else is there? ..i had so many funny answers to that....... Too funny.

 i will keep you up to date on how my 'Bus trip adventures progress OK?

   Sp'oon Chal 

Hello my Lully Public....

Hi, I'm back!!!! Did you miss me? Now i have just got to say there should be a 'Charge' for the 'not so new' fashion of wearing your trousers below your bottom!!! it  should be under 'Public Indesency' Especially when the Pants are old, or as i saw the other day you get a sweaty bottom, that is just terrible, and if i hadn't been in a car i would of bloody told them!!!!!, i have however seen two men with bloody fit bodies and that looks OK, but spotty teenagers with scaggy pants...PULL THEM UP!!

 I will tell you that the other week we went to Longleat (Lord Bath) Fab day, we went round the huge house, and the last thing was this sweeping staircase which 500 years ago would of been grand, i had to reenact Downton Abbey, and grabbed Mr H's Arm and we swept down it and i introduced ourselves ( the staircase area was empty) when i got to the bottom  i then noticed a tour guide sat on a stool? i felt a right plonker.

 I did take some top tips home with me, and we went in the maze, now last time i went in the maze i went in supporting 3 people with learning Difficulties ten years ago, and we got lost and they got crosser and crosser and i got in a right panic trying to find the exit, well this time, Mr H took me down one path, up another and we were at the middle? i was absolutely Gutted and so so angry with him and still to this day don't believe he had never been in it before? I of course stormed off through the easy exit,Mr H got lost and took half a bloody hour, and when he eventually came out told me there were couples in there playing hide and seek, and things like that.....BULLY FOR THEM was my reply, Completely killed my mood.

OOH can i ask what happened to people using steering wheel locks now a days? i saw one yesterday but people don't generally ?or am i wrong? they were all the rage? why don't people use them? answers please.

 Well my Public, The dog (Willow) is lying by my side, i promised her a walk before i started this? she is making some HORRID smells so personally think she needs to go out!!!!

 Will Write again soon, and if you fancy becoming a follower FAB or if you would like to leave a comment, or get me talking about a specific subject, please leave a comment.

   Sp'oon Chal

Summer loving.................

Hi Everyone,
 Wow it has been a while has it not? i was going to write something last week but put my back out?, ooh the stories i am about to tell, laugh a long with me please.... Blooming last Tue it went and i tell you i sounded just like Sharapova walking about or trying to get up stairs for the toilet, Took blooming ages too, Tue i just cleaned the bathroom as on Thu the In-laws were visiting, i tend to put everything outside the room whilst i clean, and on one trip up the stairs i went up on all fours, as i got to the top it went into spasm, so as i was lying there i noticed the toilet roll holder was filthy so gave it a clean, i hadn't often, if ever seen It from that angle it was filthy!!!!!
 I walked down the street another day and every now and then it would go into spasm, making me jolt, yell out? well it would happen when this man was walking past me, poor bloke near pooed himself as just as he got to me i jolted and yelped, i think he thought i was going to attack him?
 Then i went to  town and used a public toilet, now if you have ever put your back out, you will know that raising a buttock, to wipe ones bot bot is a very difficult, painful procedure (i have been rather crusty most of the week!!!) Anyway, picture this, Public toilet in a shopping centre, and trying to do my personal care, and the back spasm's, i am sorry but that little twinge stopped the procedure, the thought of me not being able to get off the toilet and have to call for help with me pants round my ankles funnily didn't appeal, and so yes i wandered round town soiled and stinky, which in my opinion was a much better option!!!!!
 On Thu Tony had me help him do the Food Shop bear in mind i could hardly walk, and that once i got in the car i couldn't shut the door, great 'Caring' idea of his, TWO fudging hours with me every other step making an involuntary yelp drawing a standard amount of attention..... we get home at 8pm, they are due at 10, and we had to move our king size bed into the other room!!!!! i tell you, so so funny we got it a bit collapsed, and then his ma and pa came, i by this time was in agony and couldn't feel my legs, his dad turns up with a groin injury, to see us move was hysterical, his ma had to help put the bed back together.....so so funny.....
 I am a little better now, i have done lots of exercises, luckily i had last week off to watch the tennis, and the worst thing you can do for a bad back is stay in one position to long....nightmare week!!!! Dam good tennis though with fab Finals my people won.....fab

Well what else have i too tell you? ooh yes talking of toilet's i was at work,( Residential setting) and i raised ones bottom cheek to wipe ones bottom and the fudging seat fitting snapped, myself and the seat went veering to the right and we both ended up wedged between the bath and the toilet, not a good look, there was a fair bit of noise, yet when i eventually composed myself and came out of the toilet carrying the said seat, staff, Guests and parents were miffed why i would be holding such item? and they didn't hear a thing, i did however Chastise them for not coming running, though again quite relieved really as another situ with pants round the ankles look....not one to share I'm afraid!!!!!

 Hey i need to tell you more stories but i have to go to work, well eat, do my 'back' exercises then go to work, but hopefully will continue tonight, or tomorrow? so don't go far!!!


Sp'oon Chal

Hoorah

For all those worried i am home? had a lovely curry, now i write no more, it will be rubbish, not because i am 3 sheets, but exhausted, and looks like mine don't come from lack of sleep......how unlucky am i? i ain't even got lack of sleep to blame my looks on

 Sp'oon Chal

Lully

Oh my days, go on my face book page, read my wall, i have posted all definitions on there, for people reading this in India, i mean no insult, Actually it can generally relate to the size of a man's willy, if it is small it's Lully....... though its just a Lully, not a Lully willy, ooh I'm digging deeper, Gosh I'm going camping soon in a naturists place and i am so so going to see some Lully Willies.......Fuck I'm not sure i can go now (i am going to be fully clothed, and loving the clouds by the end of it!!!!

 Just to counted balance 'Penis' talk it also means 'Louise' xxxxx

  Sp'oon Chal

Just to say.......

Later, well in about 3 hours i am off to the pub with some friends, then at 9pm i am off to another pub with some other friends....i MAY be slightly 3 sheets by closing, Ssssh don't tell Mr H he worries about me getting home safely.... I would however like to take this sober moment to appologise for anything i write later whilst under the influence......and for my spellings? i hope however i will just come home and go straight to bed?

I am at present having my lunch, Ssssh don't tell Mr H again, but its a sandwich with A HELL OF A LOT OF GARLIC IN!!!!!!! so much so that i might need A+E soon!!!!  lovely i am literally eating as much as possible whilst he is away......though ideally just after having lunch  he so so need not return til next Easter!!!!!, he will come home and complain the bedding stinks, that i stink, the house stinks, and is freezing cold as all the windows are open, or it stinks of Joss sticks because they are closed!!!

I could just go round smelling myself, and i quite often after handling Garlic am found standing with my fingers by my nose and a glazed, contented expression upon my face......... or after Burping breathing in deeply

Oooh so funny as you might of noticed i say 'lully' a lot (meaning lovely) Well i went to work in the Charity shop today and when the Manager saw me she laid ooh how Lully Lully is this, Shit i laughed for ages, and i will tell you origin of how i say it....... i started to say it from my friend who said it who worked with a lady who couldn't say lovely but just said 'lully'  she is a wonderful woman and See's everything as Lully, i never got to ask Karen at the shop if she knew the lady?.......i only know two other people that say it and that's because of me!!!!! .......doesn't sound so good when in big meetings though...be warned.


Sp'oon my Lully public, and remember i may be slightly trolleyed......xxx

Amsterdam!!!

For the record Amsterdam was an eye opener, Auntie no drugs were taken, but we did sit in a pub window in the red light district and act provocative to passing public, Hey i will have you know that we got a lot of interest, and the only reason money didn't swap hands was because we were laughing so much, ooh and two of us were men, ooh and dress wise we were a tad over dressed.....

 I walked into many a post or person as was fascinated by all the lovely twin set underwear the girls wore (god i am so gay sometimes) some of the girls were stunning , not enough to give me a stirring but they thought so i stared so much.....fascinating i could of walked round night!!!!!

 OOH the History of Sex was interesting too... (except the beastiality, which just is AWFUL, i didn't stay in that bit.....the rest was shocking......what would Nanny say? (Auntie i didn't understand any of it, and couldn't of been more bored or un-intrested, they MADE me go in (twice)

 So that's me for the night, Sp'oon xxx Chal

Shit Bugger Fuck

Two things, one is on a previous note i put that a bus day rider amount had gone up to £1.50? when in fact its £3.50, i wondered why the fudging bus's were so fudging full today, bloody Peasant cart had so many prams and bloody pikey carrier bags i felt it nauseating, no need for the peasant wagon Posse to rush for a bus i have mistakenly said was £1.50, you have all got fucking free bus pass's anyway.......

 I am so so going to get lynched for my peasant wagon remarks, its all meant in jest folk, really and you are all keeping the 99p shops and pound lands thriving, good on you, i wandered round the 99p shop today and bought a couple of 'Branded' goods, ooh funny story, Bought some cleaning products from there for work a while back, and had to get a COSHH form after, when i rang up the woman had very little English understanding, and really really didn't get the whole COSHH thing at all, and when i described the product, she told me it wasn't possible to buy that product anymore as it was ceased being made in like 2000BC!!!! Safe to say i never got a COSHH form and took the product home, Shit Bugger Fuck if it hadn't fermented .........Shone all my silver up a treat, !!!!!!!

Did i mention to you about holding your arms above your head for more than ten Min's is Dangerous? well it is, when on the trams in Amsterdam i was explaining to my friends who were holding on with the overhead straps, they didn't believe me, and every time we got on a tram they teased me......ooh look at us, ooh its been 9 1/2 Min's my arms are dropping off, all very tedious, childlike, immature, twatty, Yawnish behaviour that i took no notice of and it never really bothered me.....Well anyway on our first aid course i asked the instructor, and i was right, all the blood leaves the arm, and toxins are released which close down limbs effected.........So getting to the point... i was on the bus today and a young woman was standing as had a buggy, and her fudging arms were in the air...... i counted every second to the ten Min's, and then had a panic attack and had to get off cos i couldn't watch no more, and as i walked passed her i so so nearly yelled at her to drop her arms, but as i was about to faint my priority was just to get off the bus!!!!

 On the first aid course, we had to hold our arms in the air for as long as possible (no longer than ten Min's), to feel the effect of the blood draining away, shit chaps, as i write this i am head resting on the table and retching, stop now.....(on the course i lasted 30 secs then had an exclusive Alex funny turn!!)

 Shit Bugger Fuck I'm home alone, feeling Queer.......last night i needed a poo and couldn't get up stairs, now i have visions of that bloody woman on the bus and me screaming at her 'PUT YOUR FUCKING ARMS DOWN BITCH...and then fainting!!!!!!!

 Hey ho.......another night in the Dining room, but who will bring me a blankie?and a lickle Dwink? HELP i need care line......

  Sp'oon me lovilies ok xx

A certain pet insurance company.....

My lovely Cat 'Eliza,Cloud' had to be put to sleep a month ago or so, it was a very sad time, and its very sad when you have to ring the insurance company up and ask them to take your pet off the claim.

 I have just received a call from them to say the claim from the vets has now been paid? and if Cloud needs any further work..... at which point i had to stop her and explain!!!!! Good communication between staff, I'm glad it was now they rang and not like a day or so after.

Bloody just hung all my washing out and its hammering down with rain now!!!! my timing is pants.

You know chaps i do believe i am getting better? i saw a 'Burn it Burn it' coat and really couldn't be bothered with taking a photo, and that had nothing to do with my hands were full.....

Well off to work in a moment, Hurrah, i will be in touch over the weekend, yo all have a good one now.

       Sp'oon Chal xx

India and the USA

OOH i have one person  from India, and the USA reading my rantings....... (i still ain't been a poo, i only got to the bottom of the stairs and gad to turn back!!!) Would you like to say Hello?........

        HELLO to YOOOOOU

 you do realize i may be sat here all fudging night?

 Sp'oon Chal

 Might have to call Mr H for a flask and blanket? or a cork so i can make it up stairs, though i will still need to be careful if  the pressure gets to much as i climb the stairs, i have some lovely 1930's glass retro light shades that cost a bit and are rare? and i best make sure the dog ain't at the bottom of the stairs cos that will be an expensive vets bill!!!!

 Pains easing....second time lucky...... i wanna bungalow .......BYE

Say Hello

It can be a lonely place this blog, and i must not grumble with the lovely comments i get back from my followers, Especially PingPongKorea, who seems will go to any lenghts to talk to me, persistent, and i feel any day now may end up on my  door step? how many are in a PingPong team? gee probably Zillions, can you imagine all the national Express coaches on my road?

Well i will get to the point, its late and i need a plop and don't wanna soil myself, but i would love a hello from all the other countries that read me, you don't have to say how funny, smart, fab i am with my blog, i know all that already, just a 'Hello from Timbuktoo' or 'Hi from cleethorps' would be fab, and Lucie no more tricks, i already am getting a menagerie of Pingpongers descending on me, i don't (yet) feel ready for a whole load of other people from far and wide ........ xx

    Sp'oon Chal xxx (oh and so so busting for a plop not actually sure i can get up?)

P.s haven't talked about 'poo' for ages, must find some stories, maybe find a website about poo and get some top tips? watch this space for as you know it is my FAVOURITE subject, oh and Garlic, oh and bus journeys, ooh and 'Burn it Burn it'coats, ooh ooh and Midwinter or j+g Meakin China........

Pain is easing, contraction has stopped......... can i make it? bloody hope so as its new stair and landing carpet....and i have only worn these jeans the once so far this week........ BYE

Bus's

Hi my lovely public, just need to share something with you, .....Bus prices in Swindon have gone up, an all day rider ticket has gone up by 30p!!!!! £1.50 now, And the day i got the new price ticket, i got on a pauper bus, bloody hell i thought if i am going to get bus's from now on i am going to get a decent one, you know where people dress well, speak well, wash, have manners, off to marlborough i go then!!!!!...or walk!!!
 You can get a decent bus from my house, but they are every half hour, the peasant wagon is every ten Min's,now i know your all shouting 'learn to drive' .....i can't, i think i need Hypnotherapy, gosh i haven't even finished my blood phobia yet, though i have now got a brolly and cushion for my rock!!!!!!!

 Ooh another funny story, though at the time it wasn't remotely funny and i had to rush into 'Claires' in town to find a fudging mirror, But the other day i was just getting into town and a text came through saying 'Sorry to hear of your accident, you can get compensation for it just ring blah blah blah,' Cheeky buggers, i thought to myself, though also thought of replying.. 'this ain't no accident, i was born like it' , and as i was thinking this i was approaching a canvasser, who saw me and said ' excuse me sir have you had an accident recently?'
  Well my arms look okay, my legs were OK, did i have bandaging round my head? i came to the conclusion that my general demeanour and facial expression, might be giving signs of that maybe i have had a head injury? or that 'Big Brother' was watching me?......i have now quite a complex, and when out socially try to walk a little less stooped, try to smile, just try to 'act' like i haven't been in an accident!!!!!! (nature is so cruel, but one must deal with the hand one was dealt!!!!)

  Hey i am Homo Alono at the weekend, so lots of ordering on eBay, sleeping, reading, and getting up to mischief, anyone wanna join me? Oh and if you want, I'm on Facie, to catch me there, oh and twitter, though still haven't been on it as still forgotten my passwords, though apparently i have two followers, they must get off on an empty screen?

Sp'oon my Lully public, real soon

Im no support worker.......

Really sometimes i need a little more help than i let on, Last Friday i was in the library, thought i would get a CD out, hadn't done this for a year or so, Our Library is very new and all mod cons.

I went to the 'Help' desk just for them to refresh my memory, the guy there said i had to take the CD over to the machines, scan in and pay there too, then he said to me, 'Actually see the assistant over there, just ask her to help you!!'.....Help me i thought, no no i said to him, you have explained what to do, i am 42 years of age, i am quite capable, just needed you to refresh me of the format and off i went oozing confidence

When i got to the machine, i couldn't see a scanner there was just an open hole in the wall, so i placed my CD in there, suddenly a metal door came down there was some wherring and info came up on a screen, then the metal door opened.......the space was empty? it all happened so quickly, where the fudge had my CD gone?i started to look for a slot for payment, thinking maybe once you paid the CD is given back to you?, no slot, but then i noticed a sign that read.....'RETURNS'!!!!!!! oh my days i could of died on the spot!!!!!

And after what i had said to the man!!, well i only had one option, i went back up to him and just said, ' Hello, you know i said i was fine and would manage taking the CD out all on my own, by myself? well i lied.....i put the CD in the returns machine, and i have now lost it?.....could someone get it for me?
 Some one was called, and ten Min's later i had the CD was mine, and the lovely lovely staff member then went through with me on the right machine how to book out a CD, and yes she made me out to be 4yrs of age, and she even read out the returns slip to me of the day..... and said things like 'well done' 'good' when i pressed the write button, ................

And would you Adam and Eve it, the CD is Rubbish...... (actually its not that bad, a bit samey 'Tori Amos', Abnormally attracted to sin' i have all her others, a tad bored of her now!!!!)

There was another time i went to Tesco with some of the folk i support, and i don't do self service tills, well some of them decided they would buy there things independently..... self service (gasp) and two people wanted to stay with me but really really wanted to use self serve...i did try to explain i ain't all that good, and low and behold within seconds lights were fucking flashing and the machine was barking orders at us and telling me 'Assistance had been called for', unfortunately the folk i support who had gone off independently had whizzed through buying there items, without a screaming voice or whaling sirens and flashing lights, and somehow met the gaggle of staff who had rushed to our til, and told the staff that they were with me and would help me?.....and they did too.....so so funny, i just handed them my 'support worker' badge and said ' can you take me home now?'

I Have supported (ish) Adult with learning difficulties for 23 years, and sometimes i wonder how!!!!! 

So that's all for tonight, ooh i was meant to leave you with a cliff hanger to encourage you to return.......how can i entice you back? Listen i only have crazy living, and an adventure at every turn, so tune in again soon OK, ooh and if anyone fancies being my P.A, or responsible adult, just let me know.

Bye  for now.......Sp'oon Chal

I have decided something?

Hello to all the Americans reading this, Italians, and the person from India, and Germany!!!!

What i need to do is write my blog as a continual story with a cliff hanger at the end, it will probably be real life. ooh a bit like 'what Katy,Peter;Kerry did next'

But mine will be a lot classier? well except when on a peasant wagon or in Iceland, though i could glam those bits up a bit!!!!

I will write it as a diary, might not be daily, i will probably condense it down per week.....ooh must start carrying pen and paper with me.......

Just to let you all know, PingPongkorea was in fact my Sister Lucie, I'm very sad i wont get too Ping pong with them, but sadder that she had the time to set it up? Clever clever lady,, though not to put new followers off when you join, i may not take you serious as will think it is her fannying around........someone buy her a horse please..........

I am now working lots til next weekend, so it might be quiet, i will be storing up my life though to flood you with when i can.......

       Sp'oon Chal xx

Complete Mourning.....

The Demise of my PingPongKorea fan base has left me lost and Bereft, i will be taking the next few days to gather the strength to carry on, Obviously all your good wishes, and heart felt comments will ensure i return to writing just as soon as possible.......
The damage that has been done may be irreversible? time will tell, and in the process i have had to detach myself from the cause of all this pain and betrayal ....i am sorry Luce, but i am emotionally vulnerable, and with your 'fun' intentions, you have clipped the wings that enabled me to fly..........

Please please support me and give me the faith to return, just a simple 'Love you' may be enough, that extra 'Follower' is sure to help, the fate of this blog is unfortunately in your hands, i feel i must now lie down to rest, i will surface when ready.

Until such time...........Sp'oon Chal :-((

Beware of Tesco.........beware of yourself being aware of tesco'

Went to Tesco tonight, they have some 'deals' on veg, red label saying 20% more 220g instead of 200g but then the veg will have its original label on with the weight as 200g?  when actually its 220g,
 Now earlier this confused me, i whipped it from Mr H's hands and was about to storm the customer services desk, when Mr H shouted after me that might be an idea to weigh it first!!! Bloody glad i did, so that is the lesson for today folk........

 Shop in Iceland, its so much cheaper and its all price rounded up so easy peasy to add up no need for a calculator, mind I'm inclined to get mine out so i look educated and slightly more classy, mind in the winter there were a couple of woman with fur (fake i hope) coats(mutton sprang to mind)

I was in Marks and Spencer's a while back, now that is snobby, i had my own bag with me, BUT it wasn't a M+S one, it wasn't Iceland or Wilkinson's, but i swear the whole shop fell silent, shit i thought literally it was a planned one for commemorating a war or something, the only thing that gave it away was everyone was looking at me and they ALL has M+S bags!!!!! but the looks on there faces was HORRID, as i paid i briefly mentioned one had a nanny, lordy lord yes they did, Daddy used to shoot and i would go on the beat, my sister rides, and i was in a cot til i was ten......that bit i sort of wished i had missed out, but on the whole i walked out arm in arm with a couple of old dears, who's driver was taken them back to Marlborough Daaarlingggg........ you get my gist? i ain't been in there since.

  Food for thought tonight...... Sweet Dreams all  Sp'oon Chal xx 

lets back track.....

Pingpongkorea, you know i said i was master of the pingpong?.... well truth be known im not, and you funnily enough (with the olympic games coming up and all) are probably a smidge better than me!!!!!

 So i be thinking, tempting though it is, and you probably crying out for more Pingpongers, don't coming rushing over here to recruit me, cos i aint going to win you a medal........Sorry, i know, yes i lied, im a story teller, stories are what i do....i do however made a very 'famous' (within my public gygantic circle) made a delicious Garlic sandwich (its not just garlic, it has other 'secret' ingriedients in too but you gotta like garlic?) so if you whilst PingPonging at the games want a sandwich im your man!!!!! Think about it, im looking for a change in career, brief though it be im sure we can come to some arrangement? you never know you might take me back with you.....though i do come with a husband, dog, and ferral cat?

 This isn't getting my banister rails sanded or the evening meal made, lets chat later folk........

      Sp'oon Chal xx

Pingpongkorea

More investigating........ and to be honest i don't understand this computer malarkey, but if you google 'pingpongkorea' there are pages of lovely ping pong sites, so 'Pingpongkorea' which ever sight you are, and i am now going to take you as genuine, welcome, i have disrespected you enough regarding ping ponging, especially from the nether regions...... i hope you have seen the funny side?

But to have such celebrity followers is just amazing,are any of you ping pongers Authors? i need to get a book written....... twitter me...ooh no don't i can't get on it at the moment, ooh ooh Facie me if you can? i went to see if your on facie, but i can't read your writing!!!!

I will now endeavour to get Mr H to teach me how to translate, so please leave comments in Korean, what fun, how fab............

Must get back to sanding my banister rails, i am sat outside doing them... (there obviously not attached to the stairs!!!), and then i better start making the evening meal......

Looking forward to hearing from one and all, esp all the other countries that are reading my waffle......and fellow Brits, ooh and A-up Duck to my sister 'luce'(can't believe that's you so so funny!!) who was very near Worksop, Notts (my home town)......tis a complete shit pit...but tis my home town....(just said that to stir up some responses from lovely Worksopians.......

Sp'oon Chal xx

Twitter t@#t

I am a complete nightmare, i have just set up a twitter account, and within minuets have forgotten my user name, and password!!!!! and Mr H is at work, and you know i tried to keep them the same as all the rest, but some eejitt already had my code words.....
 This Korean person that is following me is very 'following' do you work? ooh and when you say play ping pong is this on a table? cos if not i can't possibly play, i would maim someone bad if i was to fire a ping pong ball from my nether regions, if you have ever heard me pass wind (rare) you will know that many a good pair of pants have been ruined, though if firing ping pong balls becomes an Olympic sport i would represent GB and we would win gold and Korea would have a whole heap of free balls........no need to return to sender, there dirt cheap in soccer sport

.
 Well i am bored, back to work morrow yippee..... might go have a little lie down, haven't done much this am watched Judge Judy she got very cross for all the right reasons, the woman so so would not see sense, blamed the police NOT the husband who was race driving with his 17 year old step son in the car, ......i tell you, you don't mess with her, she knows her stuff.....

 I might have to do something today....... or I'm going to start rocking and dribbling....OK just rocking...... maybe i will nip over the chazza shop and do some til training? or go on a bus with the dog? or maybe just go on Facie and see what people are up to......

Laters....Sp'oon Chal xx

I love table tennis

I do.......and i ALWAYS win......... its not a hard game to SUSS, you just gotta keep your EYES on the ball, and be confident, and show who is boss.....good reflex's too.....Easy.......anyone for a GAME

     Sp'oon Chal

Followers....

Ooh i have a follower from Korea? Ping Pong? , though i don't think they are following from Korea as i have looked at my countries people are following from, and there isn't any where close? so Ping Pong, where are you really? thank you for your great comments and in Korean too, fab, and Mr H translated them for me, so clever what can be done these days.....

Now i wrote in my previous blog that i am off with a bad back and that i took the dog for a walk?  when i say took her for a walk the park is 5 doors away and i was out for minimal time, i went out late when no one else was about with dogs (willow doesn't do dogs) and i hadn't had a bowel movement for 2 days through lack of movement, and in some discomfort, as i am a four a day type of guy
So it wasn't a ramble up dales and leaping over brooks, it was all very 'minimal' much to willows dismay, i have since had a poo, and come to the conclusion i will return to work, Hoorah.

I have been advised that when writing these stories to break the paragraphs up, so Ark at me doing good gaps, and different colours, Bryony, hope this is better? if so become a follower, leave me a comment.........

So today is sunny and summery tis 8am, a day off, another 'Rest' and do my leg/back exercises day, i may have a garlic sandwich for my lunch? i may sit here for a while thinking of things to do that won't aggravate my back? the charity shop (volunteering, sorting donated goods) is a no no, lots of bending, Gardening is a no no, though the grass really needs a cut, Painting the banister rails is a could be........ who knows, lets see,i will report back later my lovely public.

 Sp'oon Chal xx

naughty Husband!!!!

Naughty Husband.....commented on my blog about carrying a Machete , and being caught by the police, and how i should of elaborated about being thrown on the bonnet, wrestled to have handcuffs fastened and generally treated like the policeman's 'bitch'.... Mr H, my blog is not for the purpose of silly immature fantasies, my blog only does fantasies of a mature sensible day to day type that my public can relate too and not so far that they loose the thread of the main story ....... now we have that cleared up i am a lot happier...... ooh also think of Auntie....... Naughty Husband tut tut

     Sp'oon Chal

Isn't it sad to see seagulls in land, in towns

Why can flies never find an open window?
Why is your shopping trolley always the one that won't go in a straight line
Why do bus's generally come in pairs, and why on bus time tables are different bus's that for the same stop all the same time?
How come it sometimes rains on you, and there isn't a cloud over head?

That's it for now...... its been a long day , i am off with a bad back so haven't been anywhere, done anything, ooh went out with the dog earlier, her first walk in 3 days, top tip when walking your dog with a bad back, don't throw a stick!!!! i sort of realized as i raised my arm, willow went bounding off, and the stick landed at my feet, very funny the look on her face......

I am reading 'Alice Sebolds' third book 'almost moon' very random, not sure? i read her other two ages ago and didn't get those either? want to read Bill Brysons 'Home' but tis such a big book, .........

ooh i would love to hear from people, especially from far far away places, and i don't mean like Huddersfield, though hearing from Huddersfield folk would be good, ooh or 'Worksop' if you read this a big shout to you!!!! but yes, India, Singapore, space, drop me a comment
 Sleep well and peaceful my lully public....Sp'oon Chal 

iceland shopping

Hello me lovely public,Regarding Iceland..... i be hatching me a plan, i know the prices are lovely and cheapp and rounded up but i am still considering casually wandering round the store with my machete discretely tucked in a nook, and giving the odd item of a higher value a little nip so that when i get to the checkout they say to me 'excuse me sir, this here packet of caviar @ £2 is split, would you like to swap it or do you want it for a quid?' notice i am only doing foods of a higher value, i don't want to end up with 500 fish fingers for 50p, and that has nothing to do with being a vegetarian!!!!! i just can't be bothered to sell them on eBay and have someone come from Ipswich or where ever it is people mostly eat them buying them for £3 giving me a tiny profit and them a long days travel!!!!!!
 Mind there is a risk if i don't discretely hide my machete, that one of the hundreds of police policing our little town may spot me, and before i know it i am thrown face down on the bonnet of the cop car, and my hands wrists cuffed, and the copper in a gruff menacing voice telling me i am nicked and to come quietly............... now where did i put that machete? and will i make Iceland's? it shuts at 6 and i daren't run, i may trip and slice my arm off, and i don't do blood!!!!!!
 Actually i soon will do blood, and i think i do it more than i did as i am having Hypnotherapy!!!! its very good, did have a moment where i had to use it and nip to my secure reassuring place where birds sing and flowers blossom, shit i saw 3 seasons that day, pity i didn't have a brolly...... I'm taking thermals next time as i left as winter was approaching.
 This blog has taken me ages to write, I'm off with a bad back, and i keep having to get up and move about, but just to share my thoughts has all been worth it, my next blog is going to be deep and meaning full and very very serious.

       sp'oon Chal

ha ha ...food fest second time

Well you gotta laugh, distracted again, And since writing my last one i have just been over the co-op and i didn't realize but took a ladies loaf of bread!!!! i do like a rummage through the reduced items by the tills, and  i spotted my favourite loaf (usually £1.81, now 90p) it wasn't until the lady was searching for it and saying where it was ...how embarrassing...... could of died on the spot!!!
 My Lully friend K.D (she doesn't want to be identified as she is on a wanted list) rang yesterday yearning for one of my lovely (top secret so don't ask for ingredients or recipe) Garlic Sandwiches, so like a true friend i went round her house and made her one, (she lives 3 streets away, i wouldn't if she had of been a couple of streets more!!), bless her she was So excited, her husband is away, and its the ideal time as she is under the thumb and he forbids her to have them normally, as her hour glass figure goes a tad pear shaped (literally) Unfortunately some of the ingredients were not my trade mark one's and she uses a spatula? to do the Chutney which traumatized me some what.....and i forgot to put an ingredient in even though it was washed and chopped ready, but i left her culinary satisfied, and even one for today..... and i returned home to find my lovely home made macaroni cheese had been polished off by another friend who hadn't eaten all day, and i was thrilled that i had satisfied two people in the space of an hour with my food, orders on a postcard please.........there are cloves and cloves and cloves of garlic in my sandwiches be warned......i put so much in mine a while back i found it painful to eat, and it gave me awful indigestion........so that must of been a lot, mind it had been in the fridge two days.....Tony found it hard to stay in the same room as me after, and i had to change the bedding every day.....though that had nothing to do with garlic? which reminds me i must get some more incontinence pads!!!!
 Gotta go to work now, so have a lovely bank holiday weekend Sp'oon Chal

food fest

Did i tell you all that I'm a tad cross? someone from the film industry has found out how popular my 'Shit Bugger Fuck' is and Colin Firth uses it in 'the Kings Speak', did they ask me first? how very dare they, how rude, yes people do use it, but they have a signed agreement that when it leaves there lips they have to declare it as my saying ....... simple really.
 Ooh have you noticed the lovely new design of my blog? the other Mr Barrass-Haswell did it last night, i was sleeping peacefully by the side of him, he was up til 4am......... i am going to hurt him though, what the shit bugger fuck picture has he used? bloody me wearing a 'burn it burn it' coat (it was at my 'burn it burn it ' party, we burnt 3, Ursula actually took this one home.......point made with stereo typing the mentality of the people who wear them!!!!!
Your all chomping at the bit to know whether yesterday, my lovely dinner date wore trousers or a skirt? well it was trousers, i instantly though whey hey we are going to be in the pub drinking special brew, and then i will lob her over my shoulder and we will be trolling town, she is prepared!!!! but no, it didn't happen like that, we drank j20 and orange juice and walked out quite normally, i know boring and no vast story for my blog
 Some of you won't believe me when i say this, but yesterday i walked into ICELAND and did some shopping!!!!! AND i have signed up for a BONUS card AND i walked round town with an ICELAND bag, which actually wasn't that big or clever, hey you know if your on a budget its well easy as everything is rounded up to a pound or 50p...... no calculator needed, 1 spent £12.50, its a thicko friendly shop AND one of my packet of biscuits was ripped, i could either change them (they were all falling out?) OR have them for 50p, i didn't really mean to take so long deciding, holding up my Queue, but i was rather tempted to the 50p deal and nipping back round the shop picking up all the dropped ones, but i did come to the conclusion that most would be trod on and crushed, or kicked under the freezers and i would have to find a stick!!!.....Tony is appalled i have applied for a BONUS card lol...........
 Now you won't believe this either but i came home on a 'Charming Chariot'  unfortunately i forgot i had my ICELAND bag, shit bugger fuck if i wasn't the only one on there with a carrier!!!!! and a ICELAND one too, why oh why didn't i catch the peasant wagon? i am surprised they let me on to be honest.
 Tony has just got up, and Told me he has a blog too....citing i must investigate....ooh and that if i go on my 'dashboard' i find out how many people have viewed and where from, apparently i have had people from Russia and China, and Canada.........HOLLYWOOD where is HOLLYWOOD? and i need Publishers to read my blog too
 Enough for now my Lully public, but i will be back real sooon Sp'oon Chal

How do I add Reactions to my blog?

How do I add Reactions to my blog?

Judge Judy again.....

Hi all,
 Last little blog i wrote i didn't actually talk about Judge Judy, has anyone watched her? wow she is fab, love the way she tells it like it is and wipes the floor with people, so so funny, you go girl, though i ain't sure i would like her as a friend?
 I am off out in a moment for lunch with a friend, yes on a bus, yesterday i got the peasant wagon 5 times, 3 times carrying a carrier from a very lovely jewelers? how silly was that? and it had lovely jewelery shop, gifts inside so wasn't just for show!!!
 Well so sorry but twas brief this time, i will maybe come home with some funny stories, ooh one is that the lady i am meeting for lunch, its a birthday treat, i said i would spoil her with a tipple , but she really doesn't drink, i have told her after lunch if she is a few sheets i will throw her over my shoulder and march through town with her like that, so ideally if she could wear trousers that would be better as its been so windy lately, if not then she needs to wear her best Nik Noks, i am really excited to see what she is wearing though secretly hope its the trouser option, will report back later.

Sp'oon Chal

Judge Judy (sorry not you Aunty)

Hello, ooh your honoured, twice in one week, and i am loving your comments about my blog (though most of them i wrote), before i wrote this i wrote another one, not sure what the flip happened, but i pressed 'backspace' to correct it and all that i had written vanished!!!!!!
 Have you watched Embarrassing illness's on TV? so so funny and slightly yukky too, i may of mentioned this before, but people have gangrene penis's, pussie vagina's that they have kept secret for near on thousands of years, suddenly a bloody camera crew turn up and people are whopping everything out for the nation to see? i went to the doctors surgery the other day, it was an embarrassing thing i needed to discus, new doctor too, he could see i was having trouble explaining what was wrong, so gently told me it was OK, there was a camera in the corner, and if it helped he would switch it on and we could be live on ITV, well i must say it was such a relief to know there is that service.....i was naked and poised before he had even left his seat!!!.......people all over the world are now washing more frequently, that's all it was, silly me, and i helped in three ways I'm sure of it, firstly that people now wash, secondly that a lot of people were probably dieting and were about to tuck into a naughty cake, and thirdly i reminded them to put 'cheese' on there shopping lists!!!!!
 Right now to my training week in oxford, well basically the builders were in and i have a thing for public toilets, they have to be clean, private, and vaguely complete, these were not!! and unfortunately i only have to look at a cup of tea and a need a wee wee, and i only have to have a mouthful of food and need a plop...... these toilets (there were 4) had no loo seats, no toilet paper, no soap, and a menagerie of builders wandering about, also half the dividing walls were missing!!!!! honestly i was so so stressed, and if that wasn't bad enough, women on the course would say 'use ours, i will stand outside and keep guard? ooooh i really don't think so, after lunch every day was horrid i had to ASK someone to let me have a toilet roll out the ladies, which just highlighted i needed a plop, then there toilet was being used so we had to go into the 'lunching' millions and have a whip round for tissues, oh the shame......
 Second to last day i saw in the end cubical......a toilet seat, i was so so happy, and after lunch ran up stairs, with a plan to go into cubical 2 to retrieve the toilet paper and then nip to cubical 4..... when i got up there, there were loads of builders, one very Lully one mopping the floor in 2 cubical, as he saw me he said 'alright mate' and 'use one of the other toilets mate cheers'  and i completely forgot about needing the fudging toilet paper and marched into 4 and did the biz.......only to find no fucking paper......what now? 1 solo and very snotty tissue in my pocket later.....and i was back in the room telling everyone i had had a plop but forgot the paper so now had a 'snotty botty' .......trauma the whole week, though people did quite like it when i nipped to the toilet, as i came back with such stories........
 So  there we are, stories told, i guess now i need to go find Tony's tax form, walk willow and get ready for work, its been Lully sharing my stories, i will unload again real soon, i am due to travel on the peasant wagon number 17 bus soon, i do like to have my posher bag on me 'Debenhams, or Whsmiths, most have 'poundland, Wilkinson's, or iceland' bags, and i always always have my street map in my hand....... usually i get on the bus and say 'Is this the bus to blah, and can i pay by card? ooh no? sorry i don't usually travel by bus it's just my SAAB soft top is in the garage being valeted and my chauffeur is unwell today' but that's getting a tad long winded, so now i just carry a posh bag, and map......or wear my decorating clothes? which is OK on the bus (though still a tad smart) but not a good look wandering round house of Fraser!!!!!!

     Sp'oon me lovelies, Sp'oon Chal   

Hi my lovely public, how the devil are you all? i am sat here drinking wine and listening to classical FM, so refined, so civilized, cultured, socially excluded due to the are i live (them being common, me having had a nanny!!!!)
 Actually i do blend into all social circles, however yukkie and rough, or Posh and 'normal' when i travel on the 17 bus i know not to get my book out, and to randomly release a pouch of wind, and shout 'shit bugger fuck ye smelly beggars stop that immediatly' (Toned down so Auntie can read it )
 Posh  'normal' society i (obviously) blend into more naturally....don't get much call for it in Swindon, i have to travel to Marlborough for such refined, civilized social behaviour, i do stroll round thinking people know i live and own property in the are, until that is last time i went and fell out the bloody bus, shouting 'FUCK' rather to loudly, they don't have language like that there though so i think i got away with it and just looked like i was Swedish or something?
 Moving on, fab news for my mental welfare, myself and Mr H went to Tesco the other day, and after loading up the car, he got distracted and i was able to sort out the trolley's as where normally he won't wait, why can' t the lazy twat general public, when returning there trolley's just put them inside each other in neat rows? it pisses me off, you can get so many more in if put neatly, Tony can't bear me doing it...hence driving off...... i like Asda as they are coin operated trolleys so you have to fit them inside each other to get your money back, its a shit shop but mentally i keep quite stable after returning my trolley there!!!!!
 I worked with a lady six months ago, and after doing a huge work shop she returned the trolley leaving me with her car key to get into the car.....she was gone for ages, and ages and as it was winter (all that snow) i nearly fucking froze to death as she had given me the wrong key?......only turns out she had re-organized All the fudging  trolleys in Tesco, we got in the car, i said where have you been? ooh she said i can't stand it when people don't put there trolleys back properly!!!!!! well i seriously thought she was taking the piss (she was a new member of staff), turns out that no, she has it slightly worse than me (bitch) AND if her husband takes her shopping, he WAITS for her and reads the paper!!!!!!! Shake that mans hand....... i did tell her we should come one day with a flask and packed lunch, she has since left which is a shame as i was looking forward to that.
 ooh a random thought, why is it, and this is more at work, that when i go out to feed the birds, before i do so i look around and there ain't a bird in sight, and i only have to open the bag or throw the first piece down and suddenly hundreds of shadows appear of bloody seagulls? where were they spying from?
  My next Blog is to do with my Mandatory training in Oxford, a real Toilet Dilemma all week, had the staff i went with in reels of laughter.....great support girls, ta, i will tell you that story next time, i have a Lully bath waiting for me now, i have bored you enough....ooh and i have 9 followers now, how super duper is that.......please though if you read this and aren't a follower become one, it helps my mental state....ooh quickly has anyone watched 'Strangeways' on TV? Shit Bugger Fuck....... that David guy in the wheelchair, tip the twat out and leave him in his poo...... honestly ....he is so so little Britian....... watch it though, ooh i would not cope going there, i would be someones bitch before i have got through the door....ooh my bot bot is clenching as i type!!!!!! i would probably need stitches and all sorts of first Aid, Gee you think shopping trolleys will tip me over the edge..... I'm rocking, dribbling, and i have peed myself just thinking of being a VISITOR, mind i wouldn't mind 30 secs just to bitch slap that David

   Night All.....Sp'oon Chal

Ooh am back with stories to tell.....

how to begin? it's been a while peeps, keep forgetting my password, hey must just tell you i have just been on a week of training in oxford, did my first aid, didn't faint, or have to leave the room!!!!! though did do quite a bit of 'la la la'-ing and have !!!! ssssh don't tell the husband, slightly nervous as going there in a couple of months..... clubbing with his bothers and sisters ..... clubbing meaning  'Dancing' i hope? Lordy lord what would Nanny say? gord if she turned in her grave because of me, she will be like like a pig on a spit.... dizzy as dizzy can be poor girl!!
 Now i am trying to be very good and not swear!! dear Auntie is reading this... apparently my biggest fan, though it is hard, i must slip in the odd word, just in context and for authenticity...
 Ooh gotta plumber here at the moment and to fill the radiators he had to go into our bedroom and lean over a massage table that holds all our clothes whilst the back bedroom is transformed.....ooh and he was just faced with my pants, oh the shame.
 Happy times too as we put up a lovely bird box with slate roof, and a family of blue tits have purchased it, and have some little babies...... i might need to put 'SOLD' on the box as a naughty other bird was investigating it....... if only we could properly rent them out...cor we would be rich
  Well gotta pay the plumber now, and go to the loo as i have held it in...can't go when strangers are in the house!!!!!! good job it wasn't a long job!... ooh not me, the plumbers work silly, you lot have terrible minds

      Sp'oon Chal